Saturday, August 31, 2013

Last Labor Day

Labor Day 2012 was a very memorable one. We spent the entire weekend at my mom's house in Cochranton, PA. My Aunt Pam was home from Florida. My Aunt Nancy and her 3 kids, Katie, Blake, and Carrie, were home from Texas. Katie brought Jhovani (Jho), her main squeeze at the time, home to meet "the PA family". My son had just turned 3 and my daughter was almost 3 months.

We hung around the pool all weekend. We went for rides on the Gator. We went to the Stoneboro Fair. We ate a lot of junk. We drank a lot of beer. We did a lot of swimming and hanging out. Jho let it slip to us that he was planning to propose to Katie soon. All in all, it was an epic weekend.

Looking back, I don't remember all that fun stuff. You know what I remember? I remember how I felt. I felt ugly. I felt fat. I was depressed. Here's a picture of me to prove it. It's the only one of myself I have from the entire weekend.

Sure. I put on a smile and laughed with my family. But it was all fake. I was MORTIFIED to be in a bathing suit. My "Fat" suit didn't even fit me anymore. I'm talking about my bathing suit I wore the entire time I was PREGNANT! I had just bought some new "bigger" clothes, mainly pants. These pants didn't have zippers or buttons. They were elastic waisted. They were a size 20. My shirts were a 2xl. 

I was at the lowest point I had ever been. I don't even have a picture of me from that weekend because I REFUSED to be in pictures. That is when my husband knew I was in trouble. That was when he said something to me. 

He was worried. He was concerned. He saw me slipping and didn't know how to help me. 

To say that I was mad at him would be the understatement of a lifetime. I was HORRIFIED that my husband told me that I was fat. Yes. He used those words. I didn't understand it at the time but I do now. He had been trying to tell me nicely and gently for weeks. I wasn't listening. He couldn't get my attention.

Well, he got it. And I didn't talk to him for over a week.

When we got home, a friend of mine had posted a special just for teachers. It was a special on Shakeology. I was finally at the right time in my life to make a change. I was READY to do something. 

So, I messaged her about her deal. I was so afraid she would say I couldn't get the deal because I wasn't teaching at the moment. I was on maternity leave. I was so excited when she said that I could have the special! I paid her and my 5 trial packets arrived in the mail a few days later.

I drank one a day for 5 days and from that point on I was hooked. I had never felt better. I wasn't tired anymore. I wasn't craving bad foods anymore. 

But you know what? I was still SCARED. I was scared to commit because I was scared to FAIL. I even asked my friend "what happens if I DON'T succeed at this challenge?" and "what percentage of people have success?". 

She answered my questions for me and calmed my nerves. She talked me through picking a workout program that would be perfect just for me. I hated cardio and loved lifting weights, so ChaLEAN Extreme was the one I chose. I decided in that moment to commit. I left sight of the short. I stepped outside of my comfort zone.

I am so happy that a year ago this weekend the gears were put into motion to change my life. Getting me to making that commitment might not have been pretty. Feelings were hurt and I was embarrassed. My hubby was hurting because he caused me pain. 

BUT I am a better person for everything that went down that weekend. I thank my husband DAILY for having the courage to say something to me. He is the one who brought me out of my spiral. He showed me that I need to be healthy for my kids. He showed me that I need to be healthy so I can spend a LONG life with him.

So, the question I want to ask you is this:

Are you ready to commit? I mean REALLY commit?

Shakeology works. The workout programs work. Clean eating works. But none of it will really work unless YOU work. You have to put the effort in. You have to change your mind set. You have to be in the place I was a year ago, ready to make a change.

If you are there now, CONGRATS! I am here to help you succeed. If you aren't there yet, I will still be here to support you and when you are ready, I will be here to help you succeed. 

Ask me questions. Try a trial pack of Shakeology. Jump right in and purchase a challenge pack. Seriously - what do you have to lose? $160 and 20, 30, 40+ pounds? I don't know but that sounds pretty darn good to me.

Comment below or find me on Facebook when you are ready. I don't judge. I was there. I still struggle now. I am human and so are you!

Talk to you soon my friend!

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